The Future of Raccoons

A CBC documentary about urban raccoons asks: "In an effort to outwit raccoons, are we pushing their brain development?" We keep constructing better garbage bins to keep them out, and they keep reverse engineering them. If evolution continues along its Darwinian path, will raccoons soon be stealing our identities and jacking our cars?

The Snot Conundrum

What do you do when you're on the bus and you sneeze and a great big wad of snot comes out and you don't have a hankie and you think that everyone on the bus must know that you're sitting there with a gigantic blob of greyish-yellow mucus in your hand and you don't know what to do with it so you ponder how you can surreptitiously wipe it off on your pant leg or the inside of your coat without anyone seeing?

Lament for the Groundhogs, or Poor Buggers

Copyright © 2004 by April King

You lived on crap land
By noisy roads
If that bugged you
It never showed.

Your kinfolk died on
A roadway of hell.
An SUV sounded
Your ma's death knell.

We drove you out

We gassed you too
Guess this is progress
But not for you.

It ain't right

It ain't fair
There ain't no hide
There ain't no hair

Of the groundhogs. Poor buggers.